How to use Tandem: the complete guide for couples

Last updated July 9, 2026 · Written by Neil Busque, who built Tandem for his own long-distance marriage between New Jersey and Manila.

Tandem is a free, private app for two people. This guide walks you through setting it up with your partner and shows what every tab does — habits, letters, movie nights, music, memories, lists, and Scrabble.

What is Tandem?

Tandem is a free couples app where two partners share one private space: a shared habit tracker with streaks, cursive love letters delivered with a snail-mail delay, synced movie nights with video chat, a shared playlist, photo memories, lists, a calendar, and Scrabble for two. There is no feed, no followers, and no subscription — it is free forever.

Getting started in five minutes

1. Create your space. Go to tandem.my, tap Open Tandem, and sign in with Google or your email. Create your space and name it — most couples use their names, like "Maya & Sam".
2. Invite your partner. Send an email invite from inside the app, or share your six-character invite code or link. A space holds exactly two people, so once your partner joins, it is sealed to the two of you.
3. Add your first shared habit. New spaces start with two starter habits (Gratitude and Read a book) and a bucket list. Add your own in a few taps.
4. Write your first letter. Open Letters and write a short note. It arrives one to three hours later, like real mail.
5. Install it on your phones. Tandem is a web app — add it to your home screen and it behaves like a native app, push notifications included. See the install steps below.

The Today tab: your daily home

Today is where mornings start. It shows a daily love saying (a new one every day, delivered at each partner's own 8am), your shared habits for the day, upcoming events, and a heart button. Tap the heart and your partner's screen fills with floating hearts if they are online — if not, they get a notification and the burst replays when they next open the app.

If you are in different timezones, Today also shows a partner clock: "It's 2:57 PM for Sam", with a sun or moon and a hint when it is already tomorrow there.

Shared habits and streaks

Habits in Tandem belong to both of you, but each partner checks them off separately — the dashboard shows who did theirs today. Streaks build when you both keep showing up, and the Progress tab shows a month grid of your consistency. Because each partner's day is evaluated in their own local timezone, a couple split between New York and Manila can both finish "today" fairly.

Love letters with a real-mail delay

Letters are Tandem's signature. You write in a cursive hand, send, and the letter travels for one to three hours before arriving — your partner sees "in transit" until it lands, then gets a notification. Each partner can send one letter per day. That limit is deliberate: it makes a letter something you compose, not something you fire off.

Watch together: movie nights at a distance

The Watch tab is a permanent private room for the two of you. Inside it you can:

• Video chat face to face, with draggable picture-in-picture windows.
• Share your screen with tab audio, for anything you both want to look at.
• Watch YouTube in sync — search any video inside the app and it loads for both of you; play, pause, and seek stay in sync while each side streams at full quality.
• Turn on karaoke mode — a mic effect with reverb and echo so you can sing to each other over the music.

Music and memories

Music holds your shared playlist — songs that mean something to you both, playable in the app. Memories (the Us tab) is your photo album: up to 20 photos with captions, dates, and drag-to-reorder, plus a slideshow mode that plays your photos over your playlist with the screen kept awake — good for anniversaries and airport reunions.

Lists, ideas, and the calendar

The Lists tab covers three things. Ideas is a board where either partner suggests something ("learn to surf"), and when both of you heart it, it graduates to your shared Bucket List. You can also make freeform checklists — movies to watch, groceries, trip packing. And the calendar holds shared events with reminders the evening before and the morning of, in each partner's own timezone.

Scrabble for two

The Play tab has full two-player Scrabble: an official 15×15 board with premium squares, a 100-tile bag, and a 172,000-word dictionary. It is asynchronous — play a word now, your partner gets a notification and plays theirs at lunch. Stuck? Each player gets one lifeline per game that places the best available word for you.

Built for long-distance

Tandem was built by a husband in New Jersey for his wife in Manila, and it shows in the details: the partner clock, per-timezone habit days, the daily saying at each person's own 8am, letters that cross the distance in hours, and movie nights that work across oceans. If you are in a long-distance relationship, every feature above works exactly the same at 8,500 miles as it does at home.

Installing Tandem on your phone

Tandem is an installable web app (PWA) — no app store needed.

iPhone (Safari)

1. Open tandem.my in Safari and sign in.
2. Tap the Share button, then Add to Home Screen.
3. Open Tandem from your home screen and allow notifications when asked.

Android (Chrome)

1. Open tandem.my in Chrome and sign in.
2. Tap the menu (⋮), then Install app (or accept the install banner).
3. Open Tandem from your home screen and allow notifications.

Quick answers

How long does Tandem take to set up?

About five minutes for both partners: one creates the space, the other joins with a code or email invite.

Why did my letter not arrive immediately?

That is intentional — letters take one to three hours to arrive, like real mail, and each partner can send one per day.

Can we use Tandem in different timezones?

Yes. Tandem shows your partner's local time, tracks habits against each partner's own local day, and delivers the daily saying at each person's own 8am.

Is Tandem really free?

Free forever, every feature, no credit card. There is an optional Support Tandem button if you want to chip in. See how Tandem compares to paid couples apps in our honest comparison.